It is just after midnight on August 1st, 2010 and I can’t sleep. I am going over my week and I can’t believe how it has gone. The only way I know how to get my emotions out is to write them and I figure that they can help someone else, so here I sit blogging when I should be sleeping.
People ask me often “how do you do that?” when I tell them that I am a medium. My answer is always “I don’t know.” I truly don’t. I have spirits that just come to me seeking to get messages to people around me. They come to me when I am in the store, at a restaurant, in any crowded place really. I often struggle on what to do, but most times I tell them that I don’t want to relay messages unless the person has sought out the answer. I know how I would feel if some stranger came up to me out of the blue and said “I have a message from ________ who has passed on for you.” I would FREAK out. So, how this happens? I don’t know. I just know that I have been given a gift. A gift I am honored to have.
This week has been a week of ups and downs. My personal life has been a struggle but I am doing the best I can to understand that my life is purging out the old not good for me stuff to allow me to do my true life’s work. I have been thrust into this life of spirits and growth. I don’t fit into Corporate America anymore. I have bucked giving up my cooshy jobs in sales. I didn’t want to give up my financial freedom. Hell, I am still paying off my student loans. I ask the questions that some of my clients ask me. I have many clients say “I want to do something else, but I don’t want to lose my financial stability.” I am the first one to tell you that if you buck it, it will be taken away. The time for change on this planet is NOW. People are being called. The rapture is happening except the souls aren’t going to heaven. We are creating heaven on Earth. The problem is that it is SCARY. Scary to give up the security of the life and the structure we knew. It is scary for me to sit here with no steady income, but knowing, always trusting that I will be taken care of. And I have been.
The more I trust, the more I am thankful, the more amazing my life becomes. I got a call from a good friend of mine last weekend needing my help for a friend whose son had just committed suicide that day. I called his number and tried my best to reassure him. I told him what I was getting from his son’s guides since his son was not available as he was still transitioning back. I had no idea if I was right in anything I was saying. I guess that is nothing new, but this time, I felt such pressure to comfort this man who was grieving for his lost child. I am a mom and I couldn’t even begin to imagine what sort of shock, confusion, and grief I would go through if one of my kids killed themselves. I gave him the initial information he requested and he asked me to meet him on Wednesday at his home to do a reading with his son Ben. Let me tell you, I was nervous going that night. I have done in home visits before, but this poor man had violently killed himself in the house where I was going and all eyes were going to be literally on me. Could I connect? Could I help? As I arrived, I greeted the family and friends who had gathered there to listen to all that I had to say. I felt the love right away. I felt Ben right away. What a goofy, smart, prankster he was. His energy was refreshing and pure. I spent the next two hours helping the family come to terms with why and how this happened. Why Ben had chosen to end his life, and how he wanted to be honored. I could sense the energy go from sadness to laughter as they shared memories with Ben. By the end of the night there were no tears. There were only smiles as they realized that he was with them and he was finally happy. When I got to the car, Ben told me thank you for helping and how much he appreciated sending his message to his family. I drove home in awe of what had just occurred.
Yesterday was Ben’s celebration. I say celebration because that is what Ben wanted. He wanted everyone to celebrate his life. He didn’t want anyone to cry over him because he is happy. He wanted silly string, fog horns, red clown noses, and Green Day. Oh, and one last prank for his dad. He got them all. I wasn’t sure that I wanted to go. I didn’t know Ben. I know Ben’s soul. I had been invited to attend, but I was hesitant. What if someone asked me how I knew him? What was I supposed to say? “I didn’t know him in life, I am the medium the family used to help find closure?” Yeah that would go over big! After some thought, I went. As I pulled into the parking lot, Ben came to me all excited that I was there. He informed me that I was going to be his voice today, and BOY did he talk to me! I missed half the service because he was going on and on about every last comment. It’s ok Ben, I forgive you. 🙂 There were a few people there that he had distinctive messages for, but other than that, I just listened to him. I let him have his say about his day. As the night went on, I began to really enjoy Ben. I laughed with him, cried with him, felt his emotions as he finally realized the love his family and friends had for him. The love that he was blind to during his time on earth. His mental demons wouldn’t allow him to see the impact he had on others. As I was telling his aunt how much she meant to him, he told me that she had become his teacher since he crossed. She was teaching him how to feel real love. She was teaching a soul who had crossed over how to love while on earth. He told me that these lessons would be taken with him into his next journey on earth. How fascinating that a soul can continue to learn from us even after they have passed.
As I went to leave, his dad approached me and told me that I had brought him closure and a life changing experience that he can never repay me for. Dave, you already have. Thank you for allowing me into your family’s world. Thank you for letting me know Ben. He will forever be important to me, and I can honestly say that he is now my friend. He is a pure, amazing, wonderful, happy soul flying over us in his plane with the wind in his hair. Thank you for allowing me to be part of that. Your family is forever part of mine.
All my joy,